Hitsugaya's Holiday Havoc
by TheFaye92
Summary: I have decided to make this a collection of one shots! The tittle has changed. Easter is up! Please R and R!
1. Rigging up the lights!

Rigging up the lights.

Author's note: My first Bleach fan fic! The idea of this fan fic is roughly based on the Twelve Days of Horror, a knock off of the famous Christmas song The Twelve Days of Christmas! Well anyway…Please enjoy!

Disclaimer:  I don't own Bleach!…Sigh…

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Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro trudged through the winter snow with an irritated scowl on his face. Another Captain meeting, it seemed like they were having one every other day now. And on top of meetings he had mountains of paperwork! Matsumoto wasn't even doing her share, like she ever did.

He opened the door to the squad ten barrack. He stared to walk down the hall when he heard it. The sound of carols rung in his ear.

"On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me!" Matsumoto's voice.

_"_Seven swans a swimming!" Momo.

Hitsugaya gulped. Not again…Please not again. Every year Momo and Matsumoto took it upon themselves to decorate his office for Christmas…And every year, they made him string the lights up on the Christmas tree.

He took a step back. He didn't want to face another battle with the evil Christmas light of doom. He would just quietly slip out of the office and hide in the library… Yeah, the library. He could hide there till the forced someone else to put up the lights and then he could come back and get some paperwork done.

The silver haired captain turned around and smacked right into someone's chest. He looked up into they eyes of Renji.

_Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! _He shouted over and over in his head.

"Oh, hey there Captain Hitsugaya. Momo! Matsumoto! I found him!" Renji yelled as loud as he could.

The sliding door to his office slid open Matsumoto flew out of the room and grabbed Hitsugaya into a bear hug.

Momo walked over to him and smiled. "Shiro-chan we were so worried that we sent Renji and Kira out to find you, but you showed up on your own it looks like."

"That's Captain Hitsugaya." _And if I had it my way, I wouldn't be here right now._ He thought.

"Oh Captain! I was so scared! I thought that the snow storm had gotten you!" Matsumoto hugged him tighter.

"Idiot. I don't get cold. And let go of me!" Matsumoto let him go.

Toushiro sighed and walked in to his office. It was covered in garland, lights, ornaments, and other Christmassy items. The Captain looked over at his desk. Cookies, cakes and other treats covered it's surface. The paperwork was no were to be seen.

He looked to the left. No paperwork. He looked to the right. Still no paperwork. What happened? Had someone done it. He scoffed. Yeah, because that was likely. The only reasonable explanation was that it had been hidden.

"MATSUMOTO!"

"Yes Captain?"

"Where is the paperwork?"

"Gone."

"Gone? Gone where?"

"Just gone."

He turned around and glared at her. "Where is it?!" If he wasn't so short he would have grabbed he shoulder and shook her till she told him.

"Well how the hell should I know? I just gave it to some random guy from the squad."

_At that very moment…_

The so called random person from the tenth squad is really a random guy from the fourth squad. And not just any random guy, but Hanatarou. And as a matter of fact Matsumoto does know what's happening to Hitsugaya's paperwork. She told Hanatarou to burn it…All of it.

And not just anywhere. She wanted him to burn it in a place that Hitsugaya would never find. A place we would never even think of looking. A place so out of the box that Hitsugaya would question wither or not Matsumoto really thought the idea up. So the seventh seat of squad four was using the done and not done paper work as a source of heat for the boiler room.

In other words…Hitsugaya's own paperwork is heating his office.

_Back with Hitsugaya…_

By the time Toushiro was done staring out into space wondering what had happened to his work, Kira had showed up and Matsumoto had pushed him into his office in front of the Christmas tree.

"You get to string up the lights Shiro-chan!" Momo shouted with joy.

"N-no! Not this year! Make Renji or Kira do it!" The captain yelled.

"What? Don't push your burden…I mean wouldn't you rather have Captain Hitsugaya do it Momo?" Renji threw his arms into the air before looking at Momo with questionable innocence.

_Bastard. He just saved his ass. _Toushiro thought bitterly.

"Please Shiro-chan. Please." Momo gave him the eyes.

He loved Momo. There was no way he could say no… He was about to break when Matsumoto pushed Momo out of the way and said;

"Please Captain."

He was gaining back control. He always said no to Matsumoto. It was very easy to say no to her.

"N-" Momo came into his mind.

He wanted to say no. He wanted so badly. But he was being over powered by his own love for her. His own feelings were working against him.

"N-n-n-Yes." He whispered. He lost control.

In a moment Toushiro would have to face the enemy he had been humiliated by year after year after year. He was about to enter the den of the beast as he walked over to the Christmas lights.

He picked them up and examined the dull lights that had not yet been turned on.

Matsumoto picked the lights up at the end and plugged them in. (If they had those in Soul Society, if they don't then oh well. This is a fan fic. I can do what ever I want.)

The lights turned on. The captain looked at them once more. They all seemed to be working…For now. (Foreshadowing is fun! Sorry I wont interrupt again.)

"Wait!" Renji yelled. "I have to get popcorn!" The red head ran off.

The lights had never been the most annoying thing this time of year.

Matsumoto grabbed a step ladder for her short Captain. She placed it next to the tree and smiled. She was mocking him.

As Toshiro waked over to the ladder a timer went off. Matsumoto moved over a few trays of cookies and grabbed a small clock off the table. She looked over at Momo.

"That's the timer for the cookies. Lets go get it and then start another batch." The two women left leaving Toshiro alone with Kira and the lights.

Renji walked into the room with a bowl full of popcorn. He walked over to Kira who took a hand full.

Hitsugaya glared at them. The two lieutenants looked at each other.

"Oh! Don't mind us Captain, you just do your thing. You wont even notice us." Renji said.

The short Captain walked over to the step ladder and started to wind the lights around the tree. After two minutes he was half way down the green pine tree.

At the end of five he got off the ladder and backed up. All the lights were on the tree. All of them.

Toshiro looked at the tree. Maybe the lights had finally excepted him? Maybe the decided that he was worthy of stringing them up onto the tree? Or maybe they're just messing with him?

Captain Hitsugaya turned around and looked at Kira and Renji. He had a pleased look on his face. Kira and Renji were holding back laughter.

"What's so funny?" Toshiro asked.

"N-Nothing." Renji snorted.

Hitsugaya turned around the lights were okay. Nothing was happening. He looked back over to the two lieutenants.

The bowl of popcorn was on the ground as was Renji. The red head was rolling on the ground laughing hard.

Kira was clutching his stomach and leaning heavily on the wall.

Toshiro looked at the ground. What the hell was so funny? Then he noticed it. On the hard wood floor things, mostly lights reflected. At his feet he could tell that the Christmas lights were blinking.

He turned around in panic. "They're blinking! Why the hell are they blinking?!" Hitsugaya realized that the lights were making fun of him.

Kira and Renji's laughter grew louder.

Renji wiped tears from his eyes and tried to calm down. "You better…Take 'em…down Captain! You have to…Check 'em to see what's wrong!" He took huge gulps of air.

"Idiot! I knew that! Stupid lights!" Toshiro began to remove the lights from the bottom of the tree.

It took him five minutes to unravel them. He placed the blinking lights on the ground.

He placed them into a line and started to check each light. He got about half way down the line when he came to a small red light. It was lose. The white haired Captain screwed the light back on so that it was tighter.

He sighed with relief. The lights stopped blinking.

Suddenly the lights went out all together.

"One goes out and they all go out!" Toshiro grabbed the little red light and un screwed it a little.

The colored lights went back to blinking.

Kira and Renji couldn't stop laughing.

Toshiro backed away. "Your making fun of me aren't you?!" He shouted at the lights.

They gave no response. They just kept on blinking.

"Damn lights! Think your so smart!" Toshiro shouted.

Through his laughter Renji said; "Hey Captain, you might want to yell louder! I don't think they can hear you!"

"Shut up! If your so smart then why don't you hang up the lights?!" The silver haired captain roared.

"No thanks Captain! This is a lot funnier!" Renji and Kira continued to laugh.

Toshiro walked over to the plug-in and pulled the lights out. The captain looked around the room. In the corner of the room was a box labeled spare bulbs.

He walked over to it and opened the lid. It was filled with spar lights. He dug around and found a red colored bulb.

He brought the box with him just in case. He unscrewed the little red bulb from the string of lights and placed the other red bulb onto the string.

The captain walked over to the plug-in and plugged the lights in. He had no idea what happened but his body started to hurt a lot. A hell of a lot. Some how his hand let go of the light string.

The poor captain fell to the ground. He opened his eyes and looked up. Looking down at him was Yachiru. She poked his forehead.

"Awww. Poor Shiro-chan. He got electrocuted. Mean old lights!" The pink haired vice-captain shouted.

Shiro-chan didn't want to get up. His head hurt. His whole body ached with pain.

Electrocuted eh? Last year it was tangled around his feet causing him to fall into the Christmas tree head first.

With what pride and strength the Captain had left he stood up. As he did Yachiru grabbed the end of the lights, which were still blinking, and started to run around Toshiro. She tied the lights around him so that he couldn't walk.

Suddenly the same red bulb that he had changed popped and all the lights in the Squad Ten barracks went out.

Yachiru started to scream and Kira and Renji started laughing again.

Toshiro shrugged the lights off of him and shouted. "Kira! Renji! Get me a flash light! I blew a fuse."

Momo came into the room. "Shiro-chan? Matsumoto is getting the lights as we speak! Are you okay?"

"Arg." Was all the captain could manage. He started to walk towards the door. He had his office memorized.

As he did something tugged at his leg. He hit the ground really hard. Momo ran over to the source of the crash. She too tripped over the lights and crashed to the ground.

Still in pitch black darkness Hitsugaya stood up and tried to walk for the door he tripped over Hinamori. This caused him to go head first into a roll.

Momo screamed as the lights entangled them. Toshiro hit the wall near the door and Momo smashed into him. Something soft and warm hit his lips. Hers?

The lights flickered on. Sure enough Momo's lips were gently press against his.

Matsumoto walked in and smiled. The kiss broke.

"Yay! Momo-chan and Shiro-chan kissed!" Yachiru danced around happily. "There wasn't even any mistletoe!"

"Captain. I would have turned the lights on faster had I know you were going to be so forward with Momo-chan. If I hadn't come any sooner, the next thing you know clothes would be flying. And right in front of little Yachiru-chan."

"MATSUMOTO!!! I WOULD NEVER!" Toshiro tried to stand up but the lights kept him down.

Renji and Kira came in. They of course laughed.

"Matsumoto-chan, Renji-kun, Kira-kun. Could you please untangle us." Momo asked softly.

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It took a few minutes of rigorous untangling but the lights were finally removed.

Renji, Kira, and Matsumoto rigged the lights up onto the tree. Some how they managed to do it without any problems.

Momo sat with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and was cleaning his cuts. She smiled and placed a bandage on a cut on his forehead.

Toshiro was embarrassed. He had fought the lights, and the lights won. He had embarrassed himself in front of Hinamori and everyone else.

But one good thing came out of all the Christmas light based pain: He got his first kiss from his best friend.

When Momo finished Toshiro stood up and ran his hand through his silver-white hair. He sighed.

"I'm sorry bed-wetter Momo." Hitsugaya whispered so that the others wouldn't be able to hear him.

"Shiro-chan, you know I don't wet the bed anymore. And, it's okay. You just have to close your eyes and keep them tight shut till I say you can open them." He heard Momo walked away.

She came back a few seconds later. "Okay, open your eyes."

Toshiro opened his eyes Momo was very close to him.

"What is it?" The captain asked.

"Look up."

Shiro-chan did as he was told and looked up. His eyes widened. Momo was holding a piece of mistletoe over his head.

He looked back into Momo's eyes. Then he kissed her very softly. The Christmas light started to blink again.

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Weeeeeeee!!! It's done! Okay, okay, I know that it was a little OOC, but whatever. It was cute right? Your going to review right? Please. Well anyway, Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Season's greetings and all that, I like to be politically in-correct.

Invisible milk and cookies are available in the review room. Please review!

With love, Ammy. (that's my nickname!)


	2. Saint Irritation day

Hallo!!! Since I got such great feedback from Rigging up the Lights I decided to make it a collection of one shots! (Please hold your applause) They will all be about Toushiro and his Holiday problems! You shall see the appearance of many characters! There will be assorted chocolates, yelling and horrible poems written by Matsumoto herself!

I also want to thank my best friend Loveisamysterybutwhy. I forgot to give her credit, she also helped to influence Rigging up the Lights. Love ya Heza-chan!

Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. The poems belong to Matsumoto. They are not mine…Seriously. I wouldn't want to take credit for them.

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_I wrote this fan fic_

_All for you!_

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Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro handed a cashier his money. In turn the cashier gave him a huge bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolates in the shape of a heart.

"Have a lovely Valentine's day sir!" She said.

"Whatever." Toushiro said in a monotone voice.

The little captain was not really into this 'Valentine' stuff. He was using the day as an excuse to take Momo out. The roses and the chocolates were, of course, for her.

He slipped down an alley. He wanted to get to the Fifth squad office as quickly as possible, and above all, he didn't want to be seen. By anyone. Especially Matsumoto or any other member of the Shinigami Woman's Association. Gossip could spread in an matter of seconds in Soul Society. If he was seen, the next thing he would hear would be that Momo was pregnant with his child. (Seriously! Those woman twist everything he says! Kinda like a certain friend -cough- Heather -cough-)

He made it to the end of the alley. He put his back to the wall and looked around the corner. All seemed clear.

He picked up his foot to start on his way to the office when he saw Kenpachi Zaraki and Yachiru holding tightly to his shoulder walk around the corner. Toushiro pushed himself up against the wall as hard as he could. Yachiru was just as bad as Matsumoto.

Luckily the two just walked by. Toushiro made sure to wait till Kenpachi's foot steps were far off.

The captain moved along to the next alley, just barely dodging a group of squad four guys.

"Hey was that Captain Hitsugaya?" One asked.

"No way. Him carrying flowers? I don't thinks so." Said another.

Toushiro was hidden behind another wall. Thank goodness that they were thick headed.

He sighed and smiled. Just a little farther. Now he shunpo-ed (if that's how it's spelled?) up to the roof. Just a little closer and he would make it to the office. One more building to jump to when all of a sudden:

"CAPTAIN?!" Matsumoto screamed.

Hitsugaya fell flat on the ground. He expected to see her next to him but after a few minutes he realized that she had not yet seen him. He waited out. The vice-captain's screaming got farther away.

Figuring that the coast was clear he got up and jumped down to the fifth squad office. Carefully he went up to Momo's room.

The white haired captain leaned against the door. "Hey Momo?" He whispered. No answer. "Momo?" Still nothing. He grabbed the door. "Momo, I'm coming in."

He pulled open the door and walked in. She wasn't there. He looked around the room. It was messy. Papers covered the floor. Since Aizen's betray Momo had been forced to do both her paperwork and her traitorous captain's work.

Toushiro heard the shower as he walked around the room. He placed the flowers and candy were he knew she would notice and walked back outside.

The captain sat down on the deck and waited for Momo to come out. He only had to wait a few minutes before he heard the shower shut off. Smiling, he heard her notice the flowers and hurry to get dressed.

The sliding door flew open and Momo came rushing out. She didn't see Hitsugaya on the floor and she tripped over him and hit the ground.

"Momo!" Toushiro helped her get up and walk her back into her room. "Be more careful. You could have really hurt yourself." He pressed his lips to hers before leaning near her ear. "I wouldn't want to spend our date in the forth squad office."

"We're going out tonight?" She asked. Her eyes going big.

"If you want."

"Of course I do Shiro-chan!" She threw herself into his arms.

"Alright, I have to get some work done before I can come and pick you up. Is six okay? That's when I reserved our table." Toushiro went over to where he had placed the flowers and candy and handed them to her.

"Of course! Where are we going?" She asked.

"You favorite place." Then he slipped out the door leaving Momo smiling with joy.

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Toushiro looked at the note carefully taped to his office door. It was addressed to him and was in Matsumoto's cursive hand writing. He took it off and walked into the office.

He went over to his desk, which was covered in all sorts of candy, cards, and other Valentine treats. He took his right hand and swiped all the fan girl gifts off his desk and into the wastebasket next to him. He grumbled. He really didn't like Valentine's day, that was part of the reason.

The captain opened the note from Matsumoto. It read;

_Roses are red,_

_violets are blue,_

_I'm out drinking sake,_

_Don't come looking for me._

Toushiro twitched. That was a horrible poem. "It doesn't even rhyme." He said to himself.

But that wasn't the point. This meant that Matsumoto would be out drinking and not doing her share of the work. He decided that because he had a date with Momo though, he would leave Matsumoto's half and force her to do it later.

Toushiro sat down and started writing his report. He got about half way through it when a hell butterfly flew in through an open window. The captain held out his finger to hear the message.

_All morning reports are due in one hour. All other reports do not need to come in till Saturday. Happy Valentine's day!_

Toushiro sighed. He would get done as much as he could before he needed to start getting ready for his date. He continued to work on his morning report.

Four pages later he finished. Stapling them carefully to each other he headed for the door.

The sun shown brightly in Toushiro's eyes. He walked down the path and towards where ever they may have to turn their reports in. (Since I don't know, I shall just call it the Main Office, or something.)

As he walked he saw Hanatarou, the seventh seat of the fourth squad and some girl who he though was the author.

"Here Hanatarou-kun." The girl who looked suspiciously like the author said as she handed him a box and a card.

"Really. For me? Thanks!" Hanatarou took the candy with a smile.

The author looking girl scurried off somewhere. Probable to finish writing the fan fic.

Toushiro walked on. He still saw tons of people handing each other candy. Captain Ukitake Jyuushiro was standing talking to another soul reaper when Toushiro walked by.

"Captain Hitsugaya-kun!" Ukitake shouted.

Hitsugaya stopped dead in his tracks.

"I have something for you. It's-"

"I don't want any of your damn candy." Toushiro started to walk on.

"But Hitsugaya. All kids love candy. I just don't-"

"I don't like candy."

"Come on now. It's just not right. All children like candy." Jyuushiro tried to give him the candy.

"I don't like candy! And I am most defiantly not a kid!" Toushiro started on his way again.

"That proves how immature you are. My, I remember when I was your age I was always-" Toushiro had heard this story a lot.

The faint buzz of Ukitake's voice was still in Toushiro's head as he turned in his morning report. _They should call this Saint Irritation day. _Toushiro thought as he walked back to his office.

He opened the door to his office and looked at his desk. All the paperwork that had been on his desk was gone.

Sitting in the place of the paperwork was another note from Matsumoto. Hitsugaya opened it up and read it.

_Roses are red,_

_violets are blue,_

_I hid all the paperwork,_

_You will never find it._

Out of anger the captain furiously tore up the note and threw it into the trashcan at his desk.

Having noting better to do he walked into his room and grabbed a clean clothes. If he couldn't do paperwork he would take a long shower. Hitsugaya went over to his underwear drawer and pulled open the middle box.

All his blue and gray boxers had been taken. And switched with other pairs. One that was white with pink hearts. Two that were red with white hearts. One that was colored black with red and pink hearts. The pair on the top were a custom job. Written all over a pair of red boxers were the words "I Love Momo."

Another note from Matsumoto sat on the top. Toushiro grabbed it and ripped it open.

_Roses are red,_

_violets are blue,_

_I bought all these boxers_

_Just for you!_

Toushiro was fuming. This was not funny. One, because Matsumoto had switched his underwear. And two, Matsumoto had dared to come into his room. She was a woman! She had absolutely no right to enter his private quarters! Who did she think she was, his Mom?!

"Just great! Thanks you stupid vice-captain! I'll find some way to punish you! Just you wait!" Toushiro grabbed the first pair on the top and headed for the showers.

He hoped that maybe he would be able to calm down if he took a nice, hot, relaxing shower. Of course that's not how it works.

Tapped on the bathroom door was note.

_Roses are red,_

_violets are blue._

_There's no more hot water,_

_Sorry._

"Your doing this to me on purpose aren't you?!" Toushiro shouted to the sky. "Your laughing at me! Did I do something wrong in my past life?! Am I being punished?!" There was no response.

(Wow. That was OOC right there…)

Pissed off to the full degree Hitsugaya pulled the bathroom door open and turned on the water to the shower. Why take a cold shower you might ask? Because he's so mad that his body heat was becoming to much to bare and he needed to cool off.

One thing Toushiro forgot to do before he got into the icy water was, lock the door.

After his quick shower he dried himself and put on his boxers. He used a comb and started to spike up his white hair. As he did this the bathroom door flew open.

The captain stopped what he was doing and looked over to the person who had flung the door open.

Three people stood in the door way, their cheeks red and the smell of sake lingered all over them. Matsumoto, Renji and Kira. They were all drunk as drunk can be and laughing at something. Matsumoto held up a bottle of sake.

"Captain! You'll never guess what!" Matsumoto used Renji's shoulder for support.

Toushiro didn't say anything, he just stared at them questioning everything. Them, why they had to walk in while he was in his underwear, his sanity and the list goes on.

"Captain! The guys at the bar! You'll never guess what they did to the sake! They colored it," She broke for a breath. "**PINK**!" She held up the sake bottle to show him. Sure enough the bartender had colored the sake in honor of Valentines day.

Hitsugaya just stared at them as they burst into a fit of laughter.

Suddenly a camera flash went off. Yachiru was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. In her hand was a camera. (And I don't care if they don't have cameras in Soul Society we can just pretend that she got it from the human world.)

"Hehe! I got a picture of snowy while he is in his undies! Wait till I show this to Momo!" The little pink haired vice-captain ran off.

_Meanwhile Outside…_

A member of squad ten was talking with another member of the squad.

"So then when she wasn't looking I snatched the bra right out of her dresser…Hey, did it get cold all of a sudden?" The first said.

They looked up. The sky around the Squad ten office had turned dark. Snow started to fall from the clouds. It was not nice calm snow, it was blizzard snow. Before the unsuspecting squad members knew what was going on they were nothing but snowmen.

A more then 'so angry that the world will die' Toushiro ran out of the office. (Still in his boxers mind you.) Everything he ran by started to freeze over.

Momo was walking towards the main office. Yachiru ran by her laughing manically. Hitsugaya wasn't far behind him.

"Shiro-chan?" She asked after he had pasted her. The was only one person capable of producing such cold.

She started to run after him hoping to stop him from freezing over all of Soul Society.

Yachiru likes trouble. Really, really likes it. But at the moment she realized that she was in the biggest trouble of her trouble making career. And the only person who could get her out of this trouble was of course her best friend, Kenpachi Zaraki. Hitsugaya knew this, that's why he was determined to catch her before she got to Zaraki. But, the chances of that happening were very, very, very slim.

"**KEN-CHAN! KEN-CHAN! WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I GOT!**"

Kenpachi opened the door of his squad office with a bored expression on his face. "Do I really want to know what you got yourself into this time?" Yachiru stopped in front of him and held up the picture. (It's one of those automatic cameras that prints the picture right away.)

Toushiro stopped right behind the eleventh squad vice-captain. "HAND THAT OVER RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP YOU GOD I WILL-"

"Hey Toushiro. Where are your pants?" Zaraki said completely ignoring Yachiru.

Hitsugaya looked down. He turned the brightest shade of red you will ever see…EVER. Not only did Yachiru have a picture of him in his underwear, he had just ran around Soul Society with out any pants. The first question that came into his mind was: _Why me? _The second was: _What sort of jokes would Matsumoto make when she sobered up? _The third was: _What is Momo going to think?_

As soon as he finished asking himself these things Momo came up behind him. In her hands was a spare hakama. "Shiro-chan. I brought you this."

Toushiro took the hakama out of her hands and quickly slipped them on.

"Thanks Momo." He said with shame and embarrassment in his voice.

Momo walked over to Yachiru, she put on her kindest smile and took out a piece of peach candy. "Yachiru-chan, can I have that picture please?"

Yachiru looked at the picture and then at the candy, back to the picture and back to the candy. She snatched the candy from Momo's hand and put the picture in it's place.

Momo and Toushiro promptly left. Hitsugaya moved quickly trying to ignore all the laughter and jokes.

As soon as they were out of sight Kenpachi looked down at his vice-captain and crossed his arms. "You took two pictures didn't you?"

"Oh yeah." Yachiru said before sticking the peach candy into her mouth.

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Back at the squad ten office Matsumoto sat on the couch reading a magazine. She smiled mischievously as her captain and his girlfriend walked in.

"Did you have a nice run captain?" She asked putting the magazine down.

"Go to hell." He said sitting down at his desk. Sitting on the desk was another note from Matsumoto.

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_There are condoms under the desk._

Toushiro ripped up the note. Momo looked at him strangely. Hitsugaya slammed his hands on the table.

"You know what Matsumoto, I have a poem for you! Roses are red, violets are blue, get out of my office **NOW!**"

The busty red head was laughing so hard. Momo had no idea what was going on. She just smiled and pretended to know.

"But come on Captain, you might need them!" She inhaled deeply. "It is Valentines day! A day of romance and love!"

"It's going to be a day of blood and pain if you don't get out by the time I count to three!" Toushiro pointed at the door.

"Alright, alright, don't get you boxers in a bunch. I'm leaving. But remember the talk Captain Ukitake gave you. Always practice safe sex!" Then she left.

The room was silent for a few awkward moments. Momo walked over to Toushiro and grabbed his hand. "Shiro-chan, we not really going to-"

"NO! No, no, no, no. Matsumoto was just joking."

"Oh. I mean…You know…I guess…I wouldn't… mind." She looked down at her feet, red as a valentine heart.

Toushiro looked at a clock on his desk. It was almost six o'clock. He kissed Momo on the forehead.

"We should probably get going. Are you ready?" He asked softly.

Momo nodded and they left for the restaurant.

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The meal was phenomenal, It was easy to say that this was the best Valentine's day Toushiro had ever had. Of course, most of his holidays consisted of him hiding somewhere doing paper work. He was glade that he had spent the rest of his day with his beloved Momo.

The rest of the night ended with many a make out sessions and a stroll. Around ten o'clock Toushiro took Momo back to her squad barracks and then headed back to his own, where Matsumoto, Kira, Renji, Iba, Yachiru and several other shinigami were laying on the ground totally wasted on pink colored sake. He slipped off to bed glade that non of them woke up. He could care them out in the morning.

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That was not exactly how I wanted this to go, but I hope you guys liked it non the less! Please Review! If you do Shiro-chan might consider taking your cards out of the trash.

Free invisible cookies and milk are available in the review room. Now Happy Singles Awareness Day, (S.A.D), or if you aren't single, (I envy you.) Then Happy Valentines day!


	3. Bunnies are evil!

So…Last chapters feed back was, uh…pitiful. I'm only updating because I owe the people WHO did review! I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Disclaimer: Bleach isn't mine, sorry to disappoint you all. 

Please enjoy another chapter of Hitsugaya's Holiday Havoc! -Ammy.

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Captain Hitsugaya's hand gently swatted something away. He was fast asleep, and something was tickling his nose.

"Come on Momo," he muttered. "it's to early in the relationship for this now…" He moved his hand to find what he thought was his beloved Momo. He touched something soft and furry. The hair was far to short to be Momo's.

His gorgeous ice green eyes opened to see a small pink nose sniffing his own, a pair of red colored eyes. He let out a small shout and what ever it was hopped down from the bed and onto the floor. It was a small white bunny.

Toushiro looked down at it. "How did you get in here?" He asked.

_I came to kill you…_

"Did you just answer me?" Hitsugaya asked in a shocked tone.

_Of course I did stupid, who else would be talking to you? _The bunny looked at him with evil red eyes.

Hitsugaya smirked. "Very funny Matsumoto!" He shouted. He got up and walked out the door of his room. The little bunny followed behind. 

_What's funny?_ The bunny asked.

The captain ignored it. It was probably Matsumoto playing with the walkie talkies Kurosaki Ichigo got him for Christmas. 

He walked down the hall to Matsumoto's room. He opened the door. Matsumoto was laying on her side facing the wall. Figuring that she was just faking it he went up to her. She was sound asleep.

_It isn't a joke Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro. I'm your worse nightmare. _The bunny sniffed at his foot and hopped back out the door to the office.

Hitsugaya scoffed. "Renji…" He mumbled.

Decided that he would find Renji and chew him out after a shower, Toushiro headed towards the bathroom. A quick shower and a few moments of hair spiking he was ready to go find the squad six lieutenant. 

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Renji was a very heavy sleeper. Not a lot of people knew this, they automatically assumed that he was a light sleep. But when he was out, he was out. Not even Zabimaru could wake him from his coma like slumber. 

Hitsugaya marched nonchalantly into the squad six barracks. He knew where Renji's room was and he didn't even bother to knock. (He's a captain, he doesn't have to knock.) 

"Yo Renji!" Toushiro yelled. He was positive that the little bunny in his office was just some joke that Renji and Kira had hatched up. 

The lieutenant made not one move. He let out a huge snore. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. He was faking it.

"Stupid." 

"What did you call me?" The captain of squad six asked as he walked by the room. 

Toushiro turned to met Byakuya's cold eyes. The squad six captain registered that Toushiro wasn't talking to him. He pointed at Renji. "I bet you fifty bucks if you can't get him up."

Fifty bucks? There had to be a catch, but hell, he was a prodigy. How hard could it be to wake up one lazy lieutenant? "You're on." 

Byakuya walked back down the hall and let out a short, quiet and, rare laugh. "Sucker." Byakuya had always had it in for Toushiro. Ever since the Squad six captain learned that Hitsugaya had gotten two more right on his captain exam then him. Who did that kid think he was? He's some poor kid who shows up takes the captain's exam and passes it with flying colors! He got two more right then Byakuya and that was not riding well with the Squad Six captain. 

"Renji!" Toushiro shouted. The red pineapple turned over and snored. "Get up you idiot!" 

Toushiro lifted his right foot and kicked Renji as hard as he could. Nothing happened. 

"Hey Renji, free sake down at-"

"WHERE!" Renji jumped out of the bed and ran down the hall in his boxers. There was no way in hell he was going to miss free sake. "SAVE SOME FOR MATSUMOTO!" 

Byakuya's eyes went wide as his lieutenant ran by him screaming something about free sake. _Damn._

"I think you owe me fifty bucks." Toushiro walked by with a smug look on his face. 

With no hint of anger or frustration Byakuya reached into his pocket and pulled out fifty bucks then placed the money in Hitsugaya's outstretched hand. But secretly: _Someday you I will get you Hitsugaya Toushiro. Someday, just you wait._

Since Renji had certainly been asleep, there really was no one who could have been behind the rabbit. But Toushiro figured it was loser trying to get someone in trouble. He returned to his office, (fifty buck richer), and started to do his daily paperwork.

_Did you figure out who is behind my voice? _The bunny asked as it licked it's foot clean.

"Nope."

_Because you can't. I am able to talk to you Hitsugaya Toushiro. So don't go to sleep tonight. _

Toushiro decide to ignore him. 

_Are you listening to me Hitsugaya Toushiro? I'm threatening you. _Toushiro was silent. 

_You are a very annoying bastard. I'll just leave you and find someone else to bother. Or someone you care about. _The bunny hopped out of the office and left.

Hitsugaya sighed. Finally he was gone. 

Renji ran into the office. "MATSUMOTO YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE FREE SAKE!" Renji screamed.

Matsumoto was suddenly standing beside him. "What are we waiting for? Lets go!"

Toushiro was laughing. 

"What's so funny captain?" Matsumoto asked.

"There is no free sake. It was a ruse to get Renji out of bed. But hey, it made me fifty bucks richer!"

"WHAT?" The two lieutenants said in unison. 

"Captain! You do not make jokes about that kind of stuff!" Matsumoto shouted as she slammed her hands on Toshiro's desk. 

Toushiro just laughed harder. This was turning out to be a good day. Fifty bucks, a good laugh, all he needed now was Momo. But she would show up on her own time.

"Well I'm going to check anyway." Renji said. 

"Maybe you should put some clothes on." Toushiro said.

Renji scowled and left the room.

"I'm going to go and check on Momo-chan. You just hang around here and do your boring paper work." Matsumoto left after Renji.

Hitsugaya embraced the silence. It was so peaceful. No vein popping out of his head, no anger scowl. Just fifty bucks, a good laugh, and all the peace he could handle. Maybe if he was really lucky he would even go to bed without a headache! Maybe if the fates were smiling down on him, Matsumoto would fall in a hole and not be able to come back because she was stuck, then he would have the entire office to himself and Momo if she showed up at the right time. The captain smiled and leaned back in his chair. Today was going to be awesome. 

Suddenly a scream shattered all the silence of Soul Society. Toushiro stood up and ran out the office door, he knew that scream. Matsumoto.

"**CAPTAIN!"** Matsumoto flash-stepped up to him. Renji and Kira showed up as well along with Rukia and Ichigo. 

Clutched in the pale Matsumoto's hand was a note. 

"What's wrong Matsumoto?" Rukia asked. 

"Yeah, you look like you saw a ghost." Ichigo said. Everyone looked at him. "You all know what I mean."

"Mo-mo-mo-"

"Mo what? More sake?" Renji suggested. Matsumoto shook her head.

"Monstrous hollow?" Ichigo said. No.

"You guys are all idiots. She's saying Momo." Everyone looked down at Toushiro. "Shit." He said, then he and the others ran to Momo's room.

Matsumoto stood in the office of Squad five. Everyone else was tearing the office apart looking for Momo. The busty lieutenant was still trying to regain her voice.

"Damn!" Toushiro shouted over and over. His plans for a great day just got throw out the window and trampled.

Matsumoto walked up to Hitsugaya and pushed the note in front of his face. Toushiro grabbed it and read it, everyone gathered around him.

_Hello Hitsugaya Toushiro. I bet you are wondering where your beloved female has gone. Well, I'm not going to tell you, ha! If you wish to find her in one piece follow my instruction carefully: First you are to find a basket._

"Someone go get a basket!" Renji yelled. Kira ran off and came back with one.

_Second you are to go to the female's room._

They moved into Momo's room. 

_Third you must find the brightly colored egg. "Why" You may ask, because I say so. Forth you are to crack said egg open and read the next note inside it. Follow the instructions carefully Hitsugaya Toushiro, don't make any false moves or you'll never see your precious female ever again.__With completely evil intentions, The Bunny._ A small bunny print was at the bottom of the page.

"Your kidding me right?" Toushiro closed the note and placed it into his pocket. 

"I found it!" Rukia shouted. She held up a bright yellow and purple stripped egg. She opened it.

_So you have found the next clue eh? Well now you must find the next egg Hitsugaya Toushiro. Why is six afraid of seven? _

"Because seven eight nine! Ha! Do you know what this means!" Ichigo shouted. 

"That the bunny has a bad sense of humor?" Renji said.

"No you moron! Squad Nine!" Ichigo said.

Toushiro was already out the door heading to the squad nine office. When he got there he and the others rushed in and started a rabid search for the next egg.

"Here it is!" Renji cracked open the egg and read the note.

_This one was to easy, the next one will not be so simple. What is nine minus thirteen, plus the square root of thirty-six? _

Everyone started to count on their fingers to find the answer. Hitsugaya slapped his forehead, two. He ran off, the others following him. 

Soi Fong was sitting in her office chair when Toushiro and the others rushed in. they started to look for the next egg. 

"What are you doing!" She screamed. 

"No time to talk Soi Fong," Ichigo said. "we have to find the next egg before the bunnies hurt Momo."

"Bunnies? Have you all lost your minds! I can understand the rest of you but not you Hitsugaya!" 

"Captain Hitsugaya! It's right here!" Kira yelled. 

_Hitsugaya Toushiro, you bastard. You found the egg. Now then What's pink and annoying? _

"What kind of a question is that?" Ichigo shouted.

"Who cares we have to find something pink and annoying." Matsumoto said.

"A flamingo?" Renji asked. 

"Thus shouldn't be that hard. Captain Soi Fong! Do you now anything pink and annoying?" Rukia asked.

"You mean besides Yachiru?" The Squad two captain said.

Toushiro ran out the door to find the most annoying resident of Soul Society. 

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"So then Ken-chan, this Bunny-chan came up to me and told me to take care of this egg and not let Shiro-chan have it. I don't know why but I think it has something to do with tormenting Shiro-chan so I'm in!" Yachiru said as she held up the egg for her best friend and captain to see.

Kenpachi just figured that she was telling him a story so he nodded his head but for the most part ignored her. Bunnies can't talk and she had a habit of telling him things that were far from the truth.

"Yachiru!" Toushiro shouted. "I need that egg! Hand it over!"

"NEVER!" Yachiru shouted, she ran away from the group of egg hunting soul reapers.

"Catch her! We need that egg!" Hitsugaya and his friends started to chase her as fast as they could.

"Catch me if you can shorty!" 

"Look who's talking!" Toushiro took a dive for her but missed and landed on the ground.

Renji and Ichigo both jumped for the pink headed lieutenant. Yachiru jumped up and landed on Renji's head. Both Renji and Ichigo smashed into each other. 

"Hah! Nice try pineapple, so close Ichi!" 

Rukia and Matsumoto stopped in front of Yachiru. The little girl had to dive under them but she got away unscathed. The suddenly Yachiru lost her fitting and tripped. She and the egg landed on the ground, the egg smashed to bits but the note unharmed.

Hitsugaya picked the note up and read it.

_You actually managed to get this one? I'm impressed, go to the garden in the west._

They were once again on their way. 

The western garden was the one garden that was a little under cared for. Wild flowers grew in large patches. Weed and other plants sprouted everywhere. It was a mess. But the perfect bunny hide out.

As they came up to the tall hedge that walled the garden like a fence they could see hundreds of red beady eyes staring at them. When they came to an opening in the bushes someone sounded from inside the garden.

_None shall enter!_

"And why not?" Toushiro asked. He was rather pissed off. 

_Because I said so!_

"That's not a very good excuse," Ichigo said. "What if we paid you twenty dollars?"

_I'm not that corrupt._

"Thirty." Renji said.

_I'm still loyal to my master._

"Forty!" Matsumoto shouted.

"Hey, I don't have that much money you know." Ichigo said.

"Fifty bucks!" said Rukia.

"Who's side are you on?" Ichigo asked.

"Shut up, you're just being cheap." 

_Hum, fifty. I could buy a lot of carrots with that. Very well. Place fifty bucks on the bush to the right of you and then you may enter._

"Hello," Ichigo whispered. "I don't have that much with me."

Hitsugaya pulled the fifty bucks he had won from Byakuya and placed it on the bush. He marched inside with an irritated look. What the hell was a bunny going to do with money? 

They walked down a path covered in weeds. The small red eyes followed them everywhere they went. After much walking they finally came to a circular clearing. Then suddenly, bunnies with red eyes came out of the bushes and surrounded them.

Four large rabbits started to drag a crumpled form from inside one of the bushes. Momo sat up, a sock stuffed in her mouth and her hands behind her back. Then one specific bunny jumped up onto a log. 

_Hello Hitsugaya Toushiro and friends. Have you came to retrieve your female?_

"Yes, now hand her over before I kill you." Toushiro wanted to walk up to the leader and skin him but the amount of bunnies was so large that he had no where to step, and no way to escape.

_Kill me? I don't think my followers would like that. Now then, lets do some negotiating. _

Toushiro growled at him. Everyone else was a little freaked out. I would be scared to if I was surrounded by an army of evil bunnies.

_If you wish to have your female back you must pay protection services._

"Protection services?" 

_Exactly. For the safety of you girl, you must pay me in carrots!_

"Carrots?"

_Yes, carrots boy! Are you listening! I demand two hundred carrots a month!_

"Make it one hundred and you have yourself a deal."

_One fifty._

"Fine then. Hand her over."

The head bunny nodded his head and the other rabbits parted, making a path for Toushiro. The captain went over to Momo, he untied her hands and pulled the sock out of her mouth. 

Momo hugged Hitsugaya. "Shiro-chan I was so scared, thank goodness."

"Come on Momo. Let's go home I've had enough of this." Momo stood up and they started to walk back to the path. 

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"Shiro-chan! I got you something for Easter!" Momo shouted as she walked into the squad ten captain's office. "Close your eyes!"

Toushiro closed his eye. He wondered what the gift could possible be. He felt Momo place something in to his hands. 

"Okay, open!" 

Toushiro came face to face with a chocolate bunny. He placed it on his desk, smiled, and prayed to God it didn't talk.

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I bet you're all wondering where this came from? Well you see, I have a pet bunny and she has this evil gaze like she's going to kill you so my little Alice deserves the credit for this really cracked up fan fic. 

Free invisible cookies, chocolate bunnies, and milk are available in the review room. Pease review! -Ammy.

P.S. Happy Easter! 


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